Mr Parnell, November 2019
Unless you are desperate do not part good money to stay here.. We did and i regret it deeply. The place was freezing when we arrived at 5pm and frankly, damp too. The host had failed to leave sufficient wood to light a meaningful fire.. exactly two logs and perhaps a tenth of a bag of kindling. We lit our newspaper and that was it. So i ran the gauntlet and found a wood store in the building three doors down, with no idea who it belonged to. Nobody was in the buildings so i filled a recycling Tescos bag with odd bits of logs and timber amongst the macabre garage/shed with pieces of kids toys and broken pieces of metal. In the morning i did the same as it wasnt obvious what else we could do to try and get heat into the kitchen/living/dining room. As i did a man appeared asking what i was up to. So i explained and asked if he was the owner. With his face a few inches from mine he asked why we hadnt sought permission, to which i said that there hadnt been anyone to ask the previous night. He said i needed to be aware that the 'itinerary' said wood would be provided on arrival but he had other business interests to deal with, and that i should have 'followed protocol' and waited to ask. I said that there had been no note to say that nobody would be on hand to speak to, that there is zero mobile phone coverage, and there isnt a land line to call from. I said i'd replace the wood if he wished for me to do so. He didnt seem interested in that notion.
The wood is one thing (and he provided none for our 3 day stay btw), but really ... three pieces of a solitary toilet roll, one dishwasher tablet, an empty bottle of washing up liquid, crockery from the 1950's, a frying pan which cannot conduct heat as it doesnt sit flat. Why not just take everything out and insist people bring all of their own stuff? The bathroom is a horror show, as is the 'patio'. Nobody in their right mind would sit out there with the pervasive smell of silage eminating from just the other side of the unkept wall?
Keep our almost £600 for the 3 nights, and invest in your dilapidated property. Please tel your guests that you have a sky box and advertise it so, but you dont subscribe at all, so its simply an ordinary tv. Its not a big deal but symptomatic of a money grabbing attitude that shows scant regard to your 'guests'. The location is obviously its main selling point, but we dreaded having to come back into the place after walking and that shouldnt need to be the case.